Thursday, August 8, 2013

old photos

a //

b //

c //

d //

e //

f //

g //

h //

i //

there is something about old photos. childhood photos or photos of your parents before you or i existed.  these are just a couple. but they made me think. look at the genuine. before any true family hardships. like before my mom passed away and before she succumbed to alcoholism and my sister and i could still ease the pain she felt. her smiles were still real then (photos b, d and h....a is a fake smile, btw). these were also the times we were still a mom, dad, sister and me. or like the smile of my grandmother (mom's c) before my mom passed and before all the bullshit that happened that led to my sister and i living with her and my grandfather, who gladly took us in but will always resent having the titles grandma and grandpa taken away and replaced with "not-so-temporary-legal guardian." sometimes i think i wish we could go back to these days of naivety. but in all honesty, i wouldn't change a thing. 

in all honesty, the past uneases me more than the future.